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Dec. 15th, 2005

the show FRIENDS comes in handy, and real life friends do too. The boy aptly dubbed "Craptard" has made a mistake... right?

Craptard: lol, well, like monday night or something I told her I didn't like her enough to be in a commited relationship, but I didn't want to give up on it, so I was still planning on going to g-ville next week
Craptard: Tonight she says she wouldn't be comfortable me being there a couple days so I said I'd just go down for one night, especially so I could give her the christmas present I got her
Craptard: She says she doesn't want it, return it, etc
Craptard: On top of which everyone else seems to be getting laid tonight and I'm stuck studying for two more exams
thisgirliknow4: "I told her I didn't like her enough to be in a commited relationship, "
thisgirliknow4: BAD
thisgirliknow4: BAD BAD BAD
thisgirliknow4: of course she doesn't want to see you
Craptard: I was being honest
thisgirliknow4: in fact, she doesn't like you anymore
thisgirliknow4: no no no
thisgirliknow4: let downs... no being honest
thisgirliknow4: girls say they want honesty, they don't
Craptard: Oh well, guess that's why I've never been able to make anything work
thisgirliknow4: you make up an excuse. she still knows the truth, but it hasnt hurt her so badly
thisgirliknow4: did you not get the memo?
Craptard: lol, I don't play games
Craptard: They piss me off and seem cowardly
thisgirliknow4: its not a game
Craptard: Yes it is
Craptard: if you've got to jump around the truth, then it's a game to see how well you can make up something or cover up what's really going on
Craptard: That's why some girls are so rediculous, they can't break up with a guy but they'll do whatever it takes to make the guy break up with them. It's just a fucking game to girls.
thisgirliknow4: Gah. I'm looking up a quote for you

ALL: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!
ROSS: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
PHOEBE: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We
should do this again!'
ALL: Ohh. Ouch.
RACHEL: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?
MONICA: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means
'You will never see me naked'.
RACHEL: Since when?
JOEY: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not
you' means 'It is you'.
CHANDLER: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating
leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to
PHOEBE: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people'
means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.
RACHEL: And everybody knows this?
JOEY: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
CHANDLER: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your
dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some

Craptard: lol
Craptard: life based on the teachings of friends
Craptard: what's the world come to
Craptard: Stuff like that is why there is so much cheating and morality is going to hell. No one has the balls to be upfront with anyone else anymore
Craptard: I'm not excluding myself from the statement, just making an observation
thisgirliknow4: anyway, its like telling a girl she doesn'tlook fat if she asks
thisgirliknow4: even if she does
thisgirliknow4: you wouldnt do that would you?
Craptard: I'd say she looked great or not
Craptard: The word fat would never cross my lips
Craptard: I'm not that stupid
thisgirliknow4: and thats not playing games
Craptard: Just cause a girl looks big doesn't mean she's still not attractive
thisgirliknow4: in the same way you don't tell her a girl you don't "like her enough" to be in a committed relationship
Craptard: No, becuase then you are reassuring a person of their self worth without lying about their inaquacies
Craptard: I must be tired, I almost sound articulate
thisgirliknow4: you just don't do it.
thisgirliknow4: use any other reason
Craptard: lol, no
Craptard: Any way you do it it's going to make someone feel bad
Craptard: so why try and pin it on something that's not really there.
thisgirliknow4: okay
thisgirliknow4: I'm posting this on LJ
thisgirliknow4: without your name
Craptard: What?
thisgirliknow4: and we'll get opinions
Craptard: lol, everyone will agree with you
Craptard: But the thing is I'm nothing like you or most people
thisgirliknow4: you have to play the game to win the game
thisgirliknow4: and in the end, she'll thank you
Craptard: lol, I can always win a game straight up
Craptard: Might not be as easy, but it can be done, and I feel more accomplished for it
Craptard: When did anything that provided a lasting good come easy?
thisgirliknow4: still
thisgirliknow4: youre not getting laid
thisgirliknow4: and probably, she won't talk to you again
Craptard: It's not worth it if it is meaningless
thisgirliknow4: now you dont even have a chance for it, even though you actually wanted one
Craptard: oh well
Craptard: Not meant to be then


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 16th, 2005 06:10 am (UTC)
I think he was right to be honest about it. Now she knows she can cut her losses and get on with it. Honesty won't get you laid, but at least you have a clear concience.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:09 pm (UTC)
see, he wants to be with her though. just not enough to be in a committed relationship currently, esp. since its long distance.
Dec. 16th, 2005 06:23 am (UTC)
I'm so on his side.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
Yes, what he did was honest and good and all that.

In the long run, if he wants to be with her, he shouldn't have told her though, right?
Dec. 16th, 2005 09:36 am (UTC)
Are you saying I'm fat?
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
argh. I do that to people. You and I are horrible people.
Dec. 17th, 2005 04:08 am (UTC)
Yeah. I'll cop to that.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC)
If his goal was to stay with this girl and try to make it work, then he made the absolute biggest mistake. If he was just trying to get laid, he made a very big mistake. If he was trying to break up with her, he didn't do too badly.

Honestly is preferable to lies. Lies only make it easier in the short term. Lies end up causing more pain and hurt in the long run, because they leave the other person confused and possibly believing something that just simply is not true, or is not going to happen. The truth hurts, but it lets people move on and be at peace, even if they'll be depressed, sad, angry, etc as an initial reaction.

Oh, and by the way... even telling the truth is part of the game. It's all part of the game.

Using the fat girl example... If the girl asks if she's fat, I don't care if she's huge, you still pretty much say no. That's because you want to make her feel good and not hurt her self-esteem, and although it's a lie, you still do it. However, if she then lets you know she's trying out for the school talent show in a bikini, you might want to let slip the truth, to prevent her from suffering even more hurt in the end.

Hope this made sense.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)
his goal was the first, and he claims there is no game at all.
Dec. 17th, 2005 01:12 am (UTC)
Yeah, he's wrong. And yeah, he fucked it up.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:21 pm (UTC)
I think there's a way to be honest and not play games without being cruel. A good way to say it might have been, "I'm not sure I want to make the commitment of an exclusive, long distance relationship with you now, but I enjoy spending time with you and I would like to continue seeing each other when we're in the same town."

I think that is less painful but still not making up a story.

If "I don't like you enough" were the exact words, that's pretty harsh and of course would turn her off. But were they the exact words?
Dec. 17th, 2005 12:21 am (UTC)
When I was a kid we had a dog that "went to live on a farm". Hmm.
Dec. 17th, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)
How can he not like her enough to be with her, but then also say he still wants to make it work? That sounds like a game to me. I'd be pissed if he said something like that to me. Not because he was being honest, which is good, but because he'd be stringing me along and can't make a decision.

I agree with him about being honest. Trying to lie to him, and yourself, just gets you into worse situations. Your relationship with Rob is an example.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


Much like pineapples, I am hardcore.

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