Last year at this time
, everything was so balanced. I had finally gotten over the stress of ending Americorps, finding a job, and finding an apartment. I had friends who stuck by me through thick, thin, and dropping Ron's stuff off at his apartment.
This year, I'm balanced in a different way. I own my own home, have a stable job, and am back in school. I have incredible friends who stick by me, and I've learned a lot about myself with regard to friendship. How I am as a friend. What sort of person I make friends with easily. Those who I don't make friends with easily. Those who I feel the need to help. Those who I want to be helped by.
Terms of friendships and relationships have gotten muddier. I'm more focused on what I want and what I need for myself than for others. I'm not sure if this is selfishness (connotation: bad) or looking out for number one (connotation: good). Absolute terms have gone wayward and now have lost meaning.
Am I happier now? probably. Wiser? surely.
Less inclined to be an optimist? unfortunately so.