February 26th, 2007

botticelli

Things I've realized

  • That the scenes at the end of Arrested Development for "on the next Arrested Development" in fact are... not.
  • That some people just don't change. You realize why you liked them or why you didn't in the first place, and it still holds.
  • That things are more offensive if they are true.
  • That you cannot will your hair to not be frizzy.
  • That you never really truly stop caring for/loving anyone. No matter what.


    Wear sunscreen.
dem donkey

And now to offend the next set of people, who likely overlap with the first

The Four Ghosts of the White House

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what''s the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away...

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

Bush isn''t sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."


stolen skillfully from jkrissw