May 5th, 2006


(no subject)

Deborah is sick. She stayed over last night. Now my ear hurts, and my throat a little bit. Geez. Every little germ that goes by, I'm like "ooh! ooh! can I have it?" I can't catch a break. All I can catch is colds. Time to load up on vitamins, and hope they retroactively keep me from getting sick.

Mindie Kaplan, whoever you are-- I LOVE YOU.

Thank you so much!


Justin. Justin Justin Justin. For years now he's been a huge part of my life, whether we were dating at the time, talking on the phone once a week, or seeing eachother almost every night (as friends). In mid to late February, I told him about Ron, and since then I've seen him once. For a long time he didn't take my calls, wouldn't answer the door, never e-mailed me back-- and then I thought it was all going to change when I went by his house and he actually answered and let me in (mid-April)! I sat with him while he did his taxes, with minimal talk and a lot of playing with Irie and Kilo (his dogs), but I figured that once I had been let in, I'd be allowed to stay in his life. Apparently not. Again, he's not answering my calls. Not e-mailing me back. I haven't gone to see him because I'm pretty sure that would just be a waste, and a hassle for him. It's not like I'm not trying. I'm scrappy, and I'm TRYING to scrap my way back into my best friend's life, and it ISN'T WORKING. It'd be much easier if he would atleast let me know what was bothering him. Then I could know how if I could fix it, or atleast why he's ignoring me.

I'm going to post some public theories of mine. A scale of 1-5 stars on how possible they may be, with 5 being the most possible

He hates me and never wants to see me again because I pissed him off for some reason.

He's still in love with me and doesn't want to pull me back into a non-relationship when he knows things are going well in the current one for me.

He's in a relationship and doesn't want ME to pull HIM back into a non-relationship when he knows things are going well for both of us with other people.

He's giving us both time to get over the three-and-a-half year on-and-off relationship so we can start truly as friends without any romantic feelings, and he's afraid that if we hang out together a Rob-like situation could erupt.

If he hates me, he needs to just tell me, so I can get over it already, or fix my wrongdoing. If he's in a relationship and specifically doesn't want to see me because he thinks it could mess it up for him and new girl, he should tell me, and I won't mind giving him as long as he needs to feel comfortable with being friends again.

IF, however, he's afraid of a Rob-like situation, or messing up what I have with Ron, he need not worry. What I have with Ron is SOLID.

Maybe it's good that for a little while I didn't see Justin, because I'm not sure we could have gotten this SOLID if for no other reason than the fact that I wouldn't spend as much time with Ron because occasionally I'd be hanging out with Justin, but at this point, WE ARE A ROCK, and no amount of what has been referred to as "charming smarminess" can break it.

I really, really REALLY miss my best friend.

EDIT I just called, and he answered (yes!) but he had to do stuff for work, so I asked him to call me later.. "we'll see." Uggg.

The six weird habits/things meme

I was tagged by Ron.

1. I adore string cheese, but I can't eat it when it's cold, because it doesn't string well.
I have to blow warm air onto it and massage/squeeze it with my hands until it's room temperature or warmer, at which point it strings much more easily.

2. If I'm going to the bathroom, I never let myself look in the mirror on the way in.
I guess I don't want to be contemplating how I look while I'm trying to pee. I'll even shut my eyes when I pass the mirror as to not get distracted by it. On the way out, I most certainly look, for probably longer than I should.

3. I HATE the sound/look of brushing teeth.
I always brush my teeth alone, with the door closed, because I don't want anyone to hear or see me, and I hate watching other people. It freaks me out for no good reason. I don't even look at myself while I'm brushing because I think it's gross. I try to brush three times a day (though recently it's been more like 2) so obviously it's not ruining my dental hygiene, but it is odd if there's a group of people getting ready for bed and I have to brush my teeth separately.

4. I hate finishing good books.
I don't ever want them to end. With Harry Potter, it's like "one big book" and with the ongoing story, I have to read the ends of the books... but I have never read the last chapter of "Wicked" (though I will now that "Son of a Witch" has come out) or Jennifer Government, or a few others.

5. If I'm on the phone with you at my apartment, I'm sitting at my computer playing Snood.
99% of the time. It's automatic, and subconscious. Whenever I get on the phone, I automatically walk to my computer and open Snood and start playing. I can't help it, and lots of times don't even realize I'm doing it. It doesn't distract me from the conversation, it's just something mindless to do while I'm on the phone. I generally only play the 'evil' level.

6. I used to pity those who updated from the LJ webpage, scoff at them with my high and mighty Semagic--
That is, until Januaryish 2004, when my computer decided it didn't like to get online. From January to April (when it was fixed) I was probably on Andrea's computer a bit too much, but since Semagic was open for HER, I would update from the webpage, and oddly, I've never gone back. I've tried to, and I always have the latest version, but now it's just habit to update from the webpage.

Okay, I get to tag six people who HAVEN'T already done this