1. I use livejournal to vent, and immediately regret it-- but then don't take away the entry because I want a realistic chronicle of my life
2. Sometimes I lie to myself, but generally not to others (via livejournal or elsewhere)
3. The first time I ever knew that I was absolutely in love was in September 2002-- Justin.
4. He was the "ideal" that everyone else somehow couldn't live up to.
5. Until Ron
6. Who was the first person I broke up with for a reason other than that "he wasn't Justin"
7. If I could snap my fingers and fix something physical about myself, it'd be a toss up between my skin and my weight.
8. If both of those were exactly how I wanted them, I'd have a hard time finding flaws with my appearance.
9. Yes, I'm that egotistical.
10. Confidence is key.
11. I could read nothing else but Harry Potter books for the rest of my life.
12. I used to sing in the shower. I don't anymore.
13. I miss having a One Best Friend.
14. But I don't miss her.
15. I always wanted a group of friends that were all friends with each other.
16. I never have.
17. I wonder if this is because my friends are so different and from such different areas of my life.
18. I don't like red meat anymore. I'll eat it occasionally but it's not very enjoyable.
19. It's not out of sorrow for the cows.
20. I could do anything I wanted with my life.
21. I'm good at lots of different things.
22. This contributes to why I'm having a hard time choosing.
23. I am not as stoic as I'd like to think.
24. I'm not as emotional as I'd like to think, either.
25. I get extremely upset with people who cannot do their jobs.
26. If I could marry a TV character it would be Chandler Bing.
27. I also fell for Mr. Big and Logan Echolls.
28. I love water.
29. In almost every aspect. The chemical make-up, the taste, the feel.
30. I'm not a huge believer in faith.
31. I don't understand most of the Hebrew in the prayers I say, but that doesn't mean I'm not meaning what I think when I say them.
32. I honestly couldn't give a crap what they say. The words themselves are soothing.
33. Summer 1999 at Camp Ramah Darom was probably my favorite time in my life so far.
34. I am an optimist, but I am not sure
35. About anything, really.
36. The smell of colgate shaving cream makes me long for my toddler years.
37. I have always known that I wanted kids "in the future" but the future keeps being pushed farther and farther away.
38. I think boys should grill, and girls should wear pretty dresses.
39. But let me open my own damn door.
40. I'm only half-feminist.
41. I love being the hostess
42. I hate being a hostess when I lack things to say to my guests.
43. The last thing I want to do is make anyone feel uncomfortable.
45. I don't have short-term achievable goals.
46. I enjoy knowing where I stand
47. I like to know the exact situation of what's going on
48. Even if the act of knowing changes the situation to something less desirable
49. I get along with boys better than I get along with girls.
50. If I was offered the perfect life, but I couldn't bring my dog Padfoot, I don't know that I could do it.
51. If I die, I have plans for exactly what is to happen with Padfoot.
52. I am extremely anal about my budget
53. When I find a song I really like, I listen to it over and over and over again until I don't like it anymore.
54. Right now that song is "Smile"
55. Previous ones have included "Flagpole Sitta" "Chimbley Sweep" and "Girlfriend."
56. And most of the RENT soundtrack.
57. I hate seeming dumb.
58. One of my largest fears is coming off as inarticulate.
59. A larger fear is coming off unintelligent.
60. Family is one of the most important things in my life
61. Family dinners are some of my favorite memories.
62. My family makes up some of my more unhappy memories as well.
63. We aren't perfect.
64. If I am going to easily win a game, I'd rather not play.
65. So if I played a game with you, that means I respect your smarts.
66. I lack self-motivation
67. And dedication
68. And will-power.
69. I don't know what I am driven by.
70. But somehow something works, because I don't live on the side of a road.
71. I have a hard time with problems in the world when I know I can't feasibly change them
72. If I see where I can help, I try to.
73. This isn't always a good thing.
74. My biggest fear is being sterile.
75. This is also egotistical, as I'd like to see how cute my naturally born children are.
76. When I'm at work I do surveys, but if I come across a question I don't want to answer, I just erase the whole thing and look for a new one.
77. Yes, it's easy to hide the things you don't want seen.
78. I love reading anything that's really well written
79. And eating anything that's really well prepared
80. I read once something about the "incidence of coincidence" regarding Lincoln and Kennedy, and the phrase comes up quite often in my head.
81. I don't know if I think before I speak, but I'd probably say what I was thinking anyway.
82. I don't say the words aloud in my head when I read.
83. Sometimes when I do, it's really annoying, and I can't read again until I've forgotten what I was doing, or I end up saying the words aloud in my head again.
84. Analogies are my favorite part of standardized tests.
85. Reading comprehension is my least favorite part.
86. I do badly on those.
87. And by badly, I mean that once I got as low as a 94%ile.
88. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but it's mostly regarding #59.
89. #10 applies to sports and trivia, as well as relationships.
90. I find it very hard to describe myself unless asked direct questions.
91. Having a house is a huge weight off my shoulders.
92. Much of my life is pre-formed by the phrase "just in case"
93. I like to have activities set in stone.
94. Fluidity in schedules is very scary to me, because it means that someone could cancel their plans with me.
95. And that means that they might not like me.
96. There are very few people who I am nonchalant about.
97. Grammartastic as I am, I like ending sentences with prepositions... beyond.
98. I miss knowing what I wanted.
99. I wonder if I'll ever figure that out again.
100. Or maybe that Sunscreen song really is true.