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I officially ended everything with Rob. 99.99% doesn't think we are meant to be together. The other .01% that thinks we're meant to be together is annoyed at me for giving him up. The 100% of me that believes at least a small bit in fate or destiny knows that if he IS meant for me, we'll end up together.

That time is not now. It wasn't 3 years ago, and it's not now. I know that he won't want to be with me ever again, so we said good bye... forever. If there's no future, there shouldn't be a present. Maybe someday we'll be friends again, and here's hoping it doesn't take two and a half years.

I made a decision. At least I did that.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
negativeneve
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Was this decision what you were fretting about all week?
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:06 pm (UTC)
Bingo.
negativeneve
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:20 pm (UTC)
Just curious, but when did you start feeling like you didn't want to be with him? After Israel? Or before? or...when?
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
We've had issues all along. About a month after we started dating again, and then all through this.
negativeneve
Jan. 17th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. =( If you ever need to talk, I'm here.
brittdreams
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:09 pm (UTC)
The 100% of me that believes at least a small bit in fate or destiny knows that if he IS meant for me, we'll end up together.

This is how I always feel when things end with somebody. Then I get all pessimistic and says it'll never happen. Making a decision is the hardest part, which is why I avoid it.

Wait, I just realized you edited this post. Yea, it can be hard to be friends after a breakup but it's worth it when someone's known you so well for so long. And you say he won't ever want to be with you again but you probably said that about yourself at one point. Thing change and people change.
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC)
I'm just saying I'm n ot breaking up with him expecting to be back together again someday. I know its forever.

I wonder if fate and destiny are things we tell ourselves to rationalize decisions we make.
brittdreams
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:10 pm (UTC)
If there's no fufure, there shouldn't be a present.
Not true. You can't always live for the future. Sometimes you have to live in the now.
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC)
With Rob, this is the case. If we don't have a future together, I don't want to waste his time and end up with a much larger heartache in the future.
brittdreams
Jan. 17th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
But is it really a waste of time?
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
He and I talked about that a lot last night, and his feeling was that if we weren't going to end up together, that yes, it was a waste of time to be together.
cowkitty
Jan. 17th, 2008 03:41 pm (UTC)
The 100% of me that believes at least a small bit in fate or destiny knows that if he IS meant for me, we'll end up together.

I'm kinda a big believer of that. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen again.

Sorry to hear about you and Rob. Try not to fret about the friendship-- if he forgave you once, he'll hopefully "forgive" you again. It might take a while for him to be able to be just friends, but never say never. ^_^

Off topic-- I've been waiting for some juicy Israel summary posts. What did you love, what did you hate, what would you want to do again. I love hearing about travels to places I'd like to visit one day. Get postin'! XD
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
He doesn't believe in that at all. So it's forever, and that's fine. I'm not worried about the friendship yet. I took him off my LJ and facebook and he hadn't done that yet, and had written a post about this so I know he was on there.

I've got a trip journal with ALL that in it plus more! I just need to scan it in, and my dad has the cd with the drivers for my scanner. It'll be soon, I promise!
star
Jan. 17th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
I only really know you in a recent LJ-friends sort of way, but I had a feeling all along that this was coming.

I'm proud of you for making a decision--those pesky things are hard to do.
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
I think I knew it was coming, too.

Thanks. I'm not a fan of decision-making, and this one was pretty rough to handle. Hopefully it will be the right one-- but the problem with decisions is that I'll never know the outcomes of any other choice.
subjectivity
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
that's true, but I think you can make the educated guess that it would have been more of the same.
thisgirliknow
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
I hypothesized. And I'm good.
saynac
Jan. 18th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
Blarg, sorry to hear it.
thisgirliknow
Jan. 18th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
:-/ sorry to tell it-- but it had to be done.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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thisgirliknow
Much like pineapples, I am hardcore.

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