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Focus of the blame.

He beats her. "Why is she still with him?"
She was raped. "Yeah, right." ; "She was asking for it."

Why is this? Why is our automatic annoyance toward the victim?

If a male was raped or being beaten, would the blame still be shifted?

Are there other situations besides rape and abuse where this happens?



I have lots of thoughts on this, I'd like to hear yours.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
thisgirliknow
Aug. 8th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
Its not that the first isn't a legit quion, its that it seems to be the only question, or at least the first question that many people think of.
(Deleted comment)
negativeneve
Aug. 9th, 2009 09:20 am (UTC)
ia
thisgirliknow
Aug. 9th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
but why is that the first / important question, and why not "why is he hitting her, what's wrong with him" etc?
negativeneve
Aug. 9th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
Because a lot of people don't understand the mentality behind abuse and the relationship the abuser has with the victim. And violence is normal. What is abnormal is your survival mode not kicking in.
thisgirliknow
Aug. 9th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
It's awful that we live in a world where violence gets to be so commonplace.
pandora48sch
Aug. 9th, 2009 06:19 am (UTC)
I'll admit, when I read about someone getting hit by a car I usually say "Well, why didn't they look?" though I ask the same for the person who hit them, so I guess it's not quite the same.
negativeneve
Aug. 9th, 2009 09:19 am (UTC)
If a male was raped or being beaten, would the blame still be shifted?

Yeah, the same would happen. Though, I think it would be more along the lines of "why didn't he just stop her?" or something like that. They'd think he was a pansy or something because he couldn't handle the situation, I bet.
subjectivity
Aug. 10th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
a column this week in the NY Times about violence against women. The columnist makes argument that women as victims (such as in the gym shooting a few days ago) never gets as much sympathy as other targeted victims. Because we're so used to it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/08/opinion/08herbert.html
brittdreams
Aug. 17th, 2009 04:32 am (UTC)
Yes, lots of situations. They suck.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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thisgirliknow
Much like pineapples, I am hardcore.

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