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Other than one person, I haven't had a relationship with anyone who didn't hold at least a bachelor's degree since I was seventeen. I realized this tonight.

I don't think Tommy and I broke up directly over that, but it was certainly much to do with the fact that he simply wasn't grown up or responsible enough. He's also the only person I've dated [since I was seventeen] that was younger than me, and the only person who wasn't at least a couple of years older.

But that's not the point of this post. Let's ignore the outlier for a moment.

Since I was seventeen, I haven't had a relationship with anyone who didn't hold a bachelor's degree -- at least. I've also dated several grad/law students, a lawyer, a Ph. D. Does this mean I find education sexy? Lack of education a turn-off? Is it smarts or is it degrees? Should I expect that others want the same thing? I only have an AA and that seems a little unfair that I would expect people of higher education levels to date me. Is it because I generally go for older men? Why DO I generally date older men?

I don't know that I'm ready for the things that I thought recently I was ready for. Or what if I just have too much on my plate to even decide whether I am ready for anything?

I think too much.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
tally_cat
Feb. 9th, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
I used to think a lot about relationships and my role in them; and on that same token, my role in avoiding them. I also used to try to understand the "types" I looked for and the "types" I avoided in hopes of finding some magical piece of information that would unlock all knowledge relevant to my, and other's, heart(s).

Then I'd spend time picking myself apart to see what about me was holding me back from being utterly and completely happy and preventing me from having a successful relationship; thinking if I could identify what trait(s) or characteristic(s) was/were, I could do something to eliminate it/them.

One day, I stopped. I stopped trying to figure it all out. I finally realized that there's only so much that analysis can tell us when it comes to people. We can perform properly structured quantitative analysis for years and end up with widely varied results on topics pertaining to people and emotions(or how we act based upon emotions). People are unpredictable, even the most predictable of us, and there's no proper way to prepare for that in our analysis. You can figure out what type you go for and in six months, you might throw it all out the door on someone who is just, well, different. Perhaps, in three years, you might get tired of the same old thing - or the same old thing might get tired of you. Maybe it works out with someone before you ever come to that point... maybe it doesn't. You just don't know. None of us ever do. That is, in a way, the beauty of the dance we do in this social game of living.

I used to think a lot about these things, even when I didn't want to do so. One day, I grew tired of analyzing and cross-checking. I'm glad I did. It was only after I learned to just live, instead of thinking so much about living, that I was able to truly live my own life to the fullest. At first I thought it was a coincidence that, not long after coming to that realization, I met Sam. In retrospect, I think I had to come to that point before I was ready to meet him.
subjectivity
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC)
Cat has some very good points.

But for those of us who DO like to analyze...
What's wrong with being attracted to people who are intelligent and motivated? While clearly there are some people your age who are both of these things and do not have BAs, like yourself, most people do. It's not necessarily the degree you're attracted to but the qualities behind it.
There's also something to be said for class (and that is that it exists). You were born into the liberal educated elite, and you're attracted to people of a similar background.
thisgirliknow
Feb. 10th, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
oooh elite.

but why would a person necessarily be attracted to similar people? what about the whole "opposites attract" idea? Isn't it a little odd that we [society] only think its okay to date people from our own backgrounds?


subjectivity
Feb. 10th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't say we "only think it's okay." I think we feel affinity to people who are similar to us, 'opposites attract' be damned.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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botticelli
thisgirliknow
Much like pineapples, I am hardcore.

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