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[sticky post] Me.

Melissa. 32. Live in Atlanta, GA (Kirkwood) with my husband and two dogs.

Nerdy, love cooking, work in HR (class and comp analyst), grad student in I-O Psychology.

(semi updated 11/30/16)


I'm getting mansplained, and it's amazing.

Situation: Ilan and I are taking out a home equity loan to build a shed, deck, fence, get new flooring, and a few other various home improvement projects. I put our info out on Lending Tree. We decided to go with PenFed. And then this happened.

CHRISTOPHER DUNN, NMLS# 987486, Annie Mac Home Mortgage:
*introductory e-mail that specifically mentions that he is not a sleazy salesman*

*sends same e-mail again next day*

*sends same e-mail again next day*


We have gone with a different lender, please remove me from your list.

How do you know if the person you are speaking to is giving you the best deal? Do you know if they are even licensed and bonded in the state of Georgia? My mother always told me (and I am sure that your mother as well said it) It never hurts to get a second opinion. I don't need to pull your credit to give you a quote. If I beat their rate and fees then you win all the way around. If I don't, We part as friends. Fair enough?

Warmest Regards,

Chris Dunn

They are definitely licensed and bonded in the state of Georgia.

We are doing a 5 year fixed rate home equity loan for 40k at 3.74%. If there's any possibility of you beating that, let me know.

Most large lending institutions do not require that their loan officers be state licensed or bonded. They are given what is called an NMLS Identifier number and that is all. They do not require them to take the extensive schooling and testing that someone who is licensed is required.

In order to give you a quote I will need the credit score they have quoted you and the total loan amount please.

Credit score 728
loan amount $40,000 (as listed above)
Please let me know if you can beat 3.74% fixed. We are not interested in a home equity line of credit or anything with an adjustable rate.

You stated that you are taking a 5 year ARM?

No. I stated that it is a fixed mortgage.

You stated in our original conversation that you are doing a 5 year fixed. That is a 5 year ARM. It is fixed for 5 years and then it adjusts. I am offering that rate for 30 years with no fees.

"We are doing a 5 year fixed rate loan for 40k at 3.74%."

No. It's 5 years, period. It's a fixed loan. Please do not assume that I do not understand my loan.

I'm not trying to argue with you. I have been in the home mortgage industry for 15 years. I have been on the advisory committee for President Obama during the housing crisis. I have worked for some of the largest banks in the world. I am Federally licensed as well as state licensed. I am pretty sure that I know what I am talking about. If your loan adjusts after 5 years it is an "Adjustable Rate Mortgage". You odiously are buying everything this sales person is feeding you. That is exactly what this person is. Because someone who is educated in this market would give you a fixed rate. I put the definition of an ARM below. Google it yourself.

What is an adjustable-rate mortgage?
An adjustable-rate mortgage, or ARM, is a home loan with an interest rate that can change periodically. This means that the monthly payments can go up or down.
Generally, the initial interest rate is lower than on a comparable fixed-rate mortgage.
After the fixed-rate period ends, the interest rate can go lower, so monthly payments can fall, too.
After the fixed-rate period ends, the interest rate can rise, so monthly payments can go up, too.
Interest rates are unpredictable, so you can't predict what your payments will be in the future.

My loan doesn't adjust after five years. My loan is a five-year loan, and has a fixed rate. It will be paid off in five years. It is not an adjustable rate mortgage. I'm not really sure what you aren't understanding. Please see below for excerpt from Wikipedia about home equity loans.

Home equity loans come in two types: closed end (traditionally just called a home-equity loan) and open end (aka a home-equity line of credit). Both are usually referred to as second mortgages, because they are secured against the value of the property, just like a traditional mortgage. Home equity loans and lines of credit are usually, but not always, for a shorter term than first mortgages.

huh. happy or sad or existential crisis

I was taking an online survey that asked me, "Are the clothes that you wear that others see more expressive of who you are, or the clothes that (most) others don't see?" (I took the second part to be undergarments / bed clothes).

And it made me think - my clothes don't ever really express my personality? I choose clothing based on "I look really pretty in this" or "this makes me look skinny" or "this will be comfy to sleep in" but never really anything specifically about self expression.

My work clothes don't really express me, other than "she likes polka dots" or that I dress in business-like attire. I wear clothing that fits well, has colors that complement my hair color and skin tone, and clothes that are nice for work.

I'm not rich enough to have clothing made that makes me look like a butterfly (if I thought I was a butterfly, and I don't)

I realized, many people -- more easily men -- wear t-shirts for self expression. Sometimes as an undershirt (where women, because of the fit of the clothes, generally don't wear anything but plain) in a more professional environment. And sometimes as casual wear.

I rarely wear t-shirts at all -- I'm usually in work/nice clothes or sleeping. But even my t-shirts that I do own aren't about a fandom or a joke or a cause. They're plain or patterned, or occasionally have a print (for instance, I own this shirt).

I used to, though. I used to have SCL/Latin shirts, Harry Potter shirts, a few band shirts. A family shirt, a Harvard shirt, shirts from activities I was involved in. Also things I found funny or expressive or things I liked. But why not anymore? My list of excuses: I'm not really in the SCL/Latin scene anymore, which means I don't have opportunity to wear or ability to purchase such things. I'm not obsessive about Harry Potter anymore. I don't like / don't listen to those bands anymore. I wear my family shirt only very occasionally, when with entire family. I did not attend and never will attend Harvard. People also wear shirts for the schools they attend. I don't attend school.

I guess I have a 2015 Kirkwood Spring Fling shirt? I wore it at the 2015 Kirkwood Spring Fling.


T-shirts of yore:

Writer's Block: Something to cry about

How do you feel about corporeal punishment?

As opposed to what, punishing ghosts?


Because I'm on an LJ spree, that's why.

Passover is going to be interesting this year. My dad is mid-radiation, so my mom wanted to have the seders in Gainesville. My dad isn't up for that, and I can't miss class, so that won't work.

So it looks like my optimal situation is having an extra seder, a day early, Sunday night. Then my dad can spend Pesach with us and still go to radiation on Monday.

Then, we'll have another seder Monday night sans Daddy, and then my mom and sister might go up to Atlanta and spend the 2nd/3rd night there on their way to UNC Chapel HIll (for Deb to visit).

Matthew and Kalina aren't coming this year, but I think I'm going up to visit them in Baltimore after finals.

They'll be down soon after though, on June 1st, because MY LITTLE SISTER IS GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL. She's such a grown up.

Maybe more in a little while. I feel like writing today.

Writer's Block: Raining cats or dogs?

Do you have a decided preference between cats and dogs? Which do you prefer, and why? Would you consider a roommate or partner who had a contrary pet proclivity?

Yes. Dog. No.

Feb. 22nd, 2010

A light bulb just popped.

It was a regular energy-efficient bulb. I think one of the ones that is "60" watts. The bulb started making a crackling noise, and them boom. Popped. Fell. Smells like burnt light bulb. Freaked me out. A lot.
I'm back into my LJ, reset my password. Try figuring it out NOW, suckers! If anyone sees anything odd or suspicious, it's probably not me. I don't keep anything super secret on here, so I don't really care, except that it was rude and stupid-- and "pervasive and creepy" for sure.

Okay, now onto real things. I did terribly on my last Latin exam and will likely have to drop the course. Really. I'm really bummed about it and thinking about it makes me want to puke. I am so ready to graduate. Argh.

My windows that I had put in still aren't finished, so instead of waiting any longer, I need to call US Bank to see if there's any news on me getting my money back, and then I'll hire someone else to do it.

Today has been a bit sucktardy. I am going to go running.


My dad is now tubeless and bandageless! He can now swallow, and everything goes into the right place :) He can start eating pureed food tomorrow! So it's probably almost time for a soup making party now.

He can also talk now, without danger of messing up anything. So that will make life much much easier, although it probably still hurts him a little.

The scar isn't too bad at all. Definitely there, but its from behind his ear around his neck, and not visible when you look at him from the front. His beard will probably almost entirely cover it.

I'm so glad that everything is going well. He'll get to heal for a few more weeks, and then he starts radiation.


I'm letting the jury be out for awhile on Google Buzz. It seems like a Twitter/Facebook hybrid of sorts. We'll see. I guess Google just wants a piece of the action. Shouldn't they just merge with Facebook already?

I'm looking for people I was in Fiddler on the Roof with in 1998. Deb, do you remember the guy that played the Rabbi that used to drive us to rehearsal? And the other guy that rode with us, the Constable? How cool would it be to find them again!

Fuzzy chewed my eee cord. I guess she did last time, too. This is getting ridiculous. And I hate her poo. Luckily, there's an adoption fair at Petsmart on Sunday. So we'll see.

I slept all afternoon and I'm exhausted.

And I gave into Comcast. I'm getting real cable. I want the food network. They'll be here in the morning. And then I'm going to my parents' house to be with my daddy. And then school. And then dinner with Aaron. And then party with Sara. I should really go to sleep now.

Feb. 9th, 2010

I'm bummed about my teeth. I have to get my wisdom teeth out before I can even think about braces. So now I have a referral to an oral surgeon and at least several months before I can think about braces.

ugh, fark

This is making me so mad. Do they have a new writer or something? And no one checks their spelling? UNACCEPTABLE.

NASA scrubs space shutle launch, will try again Monday, when the entire crew and launch team is super hungover after tonight's Super Bowl
My daddy is home! He isn't doing as well as I thought he was going to be by now, but I think he's still doing well. He still has the nose tube in, but that's his only tube now. And he can feed himself!

I bought him lots of great food like... dark chocolate ensure plus, vanilla ensure plus, strawberries and cream ensure plus, and butter pecan ensure plus. Mmmmm.

Tomorrow is Regional Latin Forum. Year 11. That's not year II. That's year ELEVEN.
I'm so disappointed in FARK. One of their news items:

Protip: If you're going to grope a woman at a theme park, make sure you do it where you won't be seen. Doing it on a ride that takes your photograph is definately NOT the place to do it. (with pic)

News, and some other news

My dad is doing better every day, and the doctor says he may be able to go home by THURSDAY. This is exciting news :)

Shands has a free system to send patients notes, so if anyone wants to write to him in the hospital, go to http://www.shands.org/Public/message/default.asp , location is University of Florida, room is 5537. His name is Michael Abrams.

I'm home, the dogs are great. Padfoot missed me. Fuzzy missed following someone around.

I'm wearing Matthew's underwear today. I didn't bring anything with me except my dirty clothes from the day before I left. So I'm wearing jeans (for three days straight), a shirt I happened to have in my car, and the underwear from Target that my brother hadn't worn yet (thank you!).

My plants-- have I mentioned them? I started to grow some herbs and small plants on my porch. They are in pots, but may eventually be transported to a garden area, we'll see. Right now only snow peas are growing, but they are sprouting very nicely! I'm trying to be patient with everyone else. It helps that I was away and completely forgot about them for awhile.
I am having such a frustrating day. I feel disgusting and look disgusting with this stupid burn all over my face. I came home to the "favor" of my roof being blown off (by the realtor next door) but then having debris all over my front yard and backyard. My foster dog doesn't understand and isn't getting the concept of housetraining, no matter how many times I take her out per day, reward her, speak harshly to her, or stick her nose near her pee. Padfoot is sad and melancholy because he isn't getting enough attention. My Dell only works in safe mode, and my EEE's power cord no longer works at all. I did badly on my exam today and feel very unhappy with school in general. And Verizon is making me restart my contract with my supposedly free phone.

I feel like screaming.

Jan. 21st, 2010

My arm hurts from the tetanus shot. Think about how much shots suck. Then add on the next-day pain from the tetanus shots. Then think about my upper-arms. I've told almost every single one of you that I've met in person not to touch me there, because I bruise like a peach.

I'm still in pain from the burn, too. The first degree areas are light pink and swollen and hurt when touched. Not that I'm feeling them up-- think shower, pillow, etc. The blisters hurt constantly, touched or not. One of them broke this morning. It's really disgusting and gross.

I'm still on percocet, but I'm going to try for extra strength tylenol next time. I don't want to be any more drugged than I need to be.

This is so frustrating that all this happened in a split second.

And I have an exam on Friday.

Lady Jane

Lady Jane is a five year old white toy poodle that was rescued from euthanization at a puppy mill in Cairo, GA. She has given birth to many litters of puppies, and in the process got pyometra, a serious infection of the uterus that caused her to become septic. She had emergency surgery last night and is currently recovering at her loving foster mommy's home.

Lady Jane has a diagnosis of full health in the next few weeks after she recovers from surgery, and will be up for adoption with the Leon County Humane Society.

Lady Jane is currently very sedated, but from what I can tell, she would make a great first dog or dog for aging adults. She's very sweet and cuddly, with a great attitude.

If you or anyone you know would like to adopt Lady Jane or any other animal from the Humane Society, please contact me or visit the Humane Society website at http://www.lchs.info/

Family Chanukah

The super secret present has been revealed!

And some of more of us:

I was pretty sure that my hot tub was going to be a high-cost table, considering the expense of electricians and plumbers. Lucky for me, I returned a cleaner to REC Warehouse today, and (apparently) I bought an extended warranty! So my hot tub should be up and running at no cost to me by next week.

My phone software is however corrupted, so my phone doesn't work at all. Lucky me. I called about it, they said go to the Verizon store, I went to the store, they said they couldn't do it and that I had to do it at home. I feel like I spent hours on a wild goose chase. I am not happy with Verizon right now. Oh, and they claim I lost a phone and want to charge me $429.99 for it. Ugh. But I want a Droid.

My new windows are almost finished. They are now usable but not yet pretty (they won't be until after Christmas, actually). I need to get some window treatments for them. I also now want to extend my fenceline and get some wooden fence so that people can't (as easily) get near my new windows. I definitely do not have $200 to spare, but might buy myself a present with my tax refund in a month.

My back porch just needs to be tiled, now. It's been chiseled, sanded, puttied, sanded, puttied, sanded, puttied, swept, sanded, puttied.... and so on. Now it's been painted with two layers of sealing paint, and is ready to have some flooring put in. It was supposed to be done today, but Lina is sick, so Matthew is with her at Patients First. So it'll be done tomorrow, hopefully.

Merry Christmas Eve and stuff. I'll do my part tomorrow, and eat some Chinese Food and go to the movies.


From 6:30 this morning when I realized it was missing, to about 12:30 pm, I was looking for my cell phone. I knew I had fallen asleep with it next to me, but looked everywhere around my bed and didn't find it. I ended up looking in my trash, my refrigerator, my freezer, my car, my entire backyard, playing with my dog to see if he'd show me where he hid it, moving all furniture possible, feeling up my pillows and my mattress, looking in dirty clothes I wore two days ago, etc. I was even thinking one of my friends with a key may have come and stolen it to be mean.

Occam's Razor finally made me think straight, and I re-searched my room many times. I was taking apart my bed frame, sitting on the ground, when I finally saw it way behind my dresser.

I guess I threw it off, probably in rustling under the covers. It was pretty anti-climactic, but I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a second or two. I had been having terrible daydreams about never find it and never knowing why.

I am very very lucky to have Sammie the Blackberry back. Today I am going to back-up everything on it again, since much has changed since the last time, and I killed that hard drive anyway.


New glasses!

New glasses!
Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Dear Melissa,

This is so you kow that eve though it may take days, even though you may have to sleep on your couch a few days, and even though it probably won't last long, that it IS possible to organize every single piece of clothing that you own.



Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry



Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Community Pants

Found in a drawer at Sterling University Glades, these XXL blue and white checkered pants, held up by drawstring, are the most notorious piece of clothes I've owned. They've been worn by everyone, from friends who spilled something on their own pants, to visiting siblings, to old boyfriends. They are magic pants, able to be worn by any person needing them.

They've been through much since they were discovered in 2003, and currently sport several holes, a few bleach stains, and are quite ragged around the ankles.

Community Pants, you belonged in Gainesville and you lived in Gainesville. There is nothing more reminiscent of Gainesville than you. You were happiness and sadness. You were a life experience.

You've been in a seldom used drawer for many years now. You take up room that needs to be reserved for new memories, or at least new clothes.

The time has come for you to go. You will be gone, but not forgotten.



Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I'm getting "real" glasses, too, but I just bought some with my prescription online, too. For $12.95 per pair, and combined shipping, I got two pairs. Black ones and red ones. I'm sure they'll be pretty (see: very) crappy, but I can wear them if I need them. Plus they're reddddd.


Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I love home improvement.

Today's workout: mowing my lawn for an hour.

I like workouts with a purpose. So much better than my stationary bike. Plus, this is one less thing I have to do before Sunday.

I also cleaned out, swept, washed, scrubbed, tore, and did everything I needed to do on my porch before starting to tile it. And then I realized my tiles match the walls. I don't want my porch to be all beige. I am not an all beige person. So new tiles it is. Sigh.

I am grossly sweaty. Shower time.

Nov. 14th, 2009

I love Bar Mitzvah parties. So much fun! This one happened to be sports-themed, and everyone decorated and wore hats. That's why we look so funky.

Deb and I danced for like four hours straight. Mazel Tov to Alex and the entire Fingeroot family (except Jack, who once told on me during a Passover seder for sticking out my tongue. Dang 6-year-old.)

There was so much food today but I was very good. Yay me.

I am going to be very sore tomorrow.

Me and Deb with our flowers in our hair (She looks Hawaiian and I look Spanish)

My pink bug hat

Mommy and Daddy boogeying

Lincoln Senior Night

Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Originally uploaded by thisgirliknow4
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I walked in my back door and accidentally left it very slightly open. Padfoot whined for the next five minutes at the door, wanting to be let in.

Let's look at the facts:
  • The back door opens IN. He could have easily pushed it open.
  • The back door has a dog door in it, through which he goes ALL THE TIME.
  • When I called his name, he immediately jumped through the dog door and came to me.

I love my dog. I really really truly do. He is cute, funny, friendly, lovable, and just a bit dumb.


I was planning on vanishing my bench today, and now I'm not so much. I might re-organize my sunroom instead. The good thing about doing that is the lack of getting dressed and going somewhere. I don't necessarily want to be lazy, I just don't want to go anywhere.


As taken from facebook
Melissa Abrams finished retouching her coffee table this evening. Tomorrow: varnish wooden bench. Next week: stain dining room table and chairs. Next two weeks: decide and complete new flooring for screened-in porch.


If anyone has varnish or stain recommendations (brand), please tell me! I have no idea what I'm doing.

The flooring is a little harder to figure out. Right now I'm leaning toward a vinyl "peel and stick" floor, for cheapness and ease. I've also thought about snap-together deck flooring (too expensive, too hard to do around the sides), simply putting a nice finish down (hard to do, especially on current paint-chipped, multi-colored surface), or putting more green carpet down (it was ugly before, it will get ugly again).

That's not for a little while, though, because I'd like to finish all the varnishing and such on my porch before I put new flooring down.

Suggestions are super welcome and appreciated on all of this. Know what's more welcome? MANUAL LABOR HELP. Seriously. I'll feed you dinner. We can sing. We will have a grand time! Plus, you love me. Right? I am looking at yellowducks231, pandora48sch, and reamens for sure. Also, since when is almost my whole LJ friends list out of town?
I'm so sorry guys, I don't have the awesomeness I'd need to participate this season. I'll still read entries, but I can't participate :(

Good Luck!

LJ Idol post 0 - Introduction

Quick introduction, as I really should be doing homework:

2nd Year LJ Idol Participant. I did pretty okay last year, but became so engulfed in school and work that I wasn't able to keep on cranking out the entries.

So, for you, LJ Idol, I quit my job.

I'm kidding, I didn't do it for you.

I did however quit my job this past May, and am currently back in school full time. I like to think of myself as an "older" student (such students tend to perform better in their classes), but I'm only 24, and I tend to look younger, so that doesn't work so well from a professor's perspective.

I also have a house, a boyfriend, a dog, a great friends circle (many of them currently pregnant and shaped like circles), and overall-- a pretty awesome life.

Enter flaws: Anxiety. I have this nice mix of perfectionism plus not being perfect. If you can't relate, you're probably not human. I guess if this is what makes you human, I must be superhuman.

Other flaws? Hm.. I have a few chicken pox scars on my forehead from 6th grade. I don't think I have any other flaws.

Strengths: humble

Oct. 6th, 2009

I'm doing LJ Idol again :)

Who's with me? I know edith_jones is doing it, What about teenonfire4lord? blackfroggy?

Is there anyone new that wants to join? It's really fun! I'd like to see some of the other really good writers on my friends list doing LJ Idol, like lizblizz and ellie_kay!


RIP Layla

My condolences to Stacy (negativeneve) and Roy, whose six-and-a-half year old dog, Layla, died today, assumedly to a tumor in her throat. She was beautiful and gracious, the model of the black dog group we had in Gainesville. She will be dearly missed :(

Stacy with Diesel and Layla

Me and Layla

Phi Sig was a bust because I was already too far in school to join (you need three semesters left).

Today, I joined Golden Key. I was invited because I was in the top 15% of my class. Hot. Anyway, $70 to be able to put it on my resume, and be able to apply for their scholarships seems useful. They also do a lot of community service that I'd like to get involved in. So it's all good :)

Gay!Matt is in town and we're hanging out tonight. I am so flipping excited. I love Gay!Matt! :D
I am not drinking Trop50 anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach.


Much like pineapples, I am hardcore.

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